May 24, 2023
Emotional State: Finding My Inner Child
Writing
After my morning routine, a song lyric played out in my head. “The time has come for me to speak, oh oh, the time has come.” It fits with what I’m wrestling with right now – finding my inner child for some refreshed creativity.
You see, I’m writing (among my many projects) a cozy fantasy series with a group of authors. We are in the world building phase of the project and all these amazing authors come up with inventive towns, lore, and characters. Which I love, but also triggered a little bit of imposter syndrome and wondering what happened to that soft, squishy me I remember from when I was a child.
Cue the work on finding my inner child. Not to get into all the details, but my upbringing and random encounters with friends/people squashed a lot of my silly, along with my ability to be freely, truly me. First, though, I need to break down that wall I put up to protect myself. It’s tough work, but I’m game to get it done.
As part of that, I’m working on finding more creative ways to express myself. I’ve been playing with planners for two months (and it still continues – I’ve got some cute stuff), but I feel like I need a new hobby or something. Where I’m going to fit it is beyond me, but you know, I’m beginning the process to find a new way to have fun.
I’m also diving into a ton of nonfiction books, many that were recommended during my Write Better Faster course. One of them, the 5-Second-Rule by Mel Robbins, I think may be a game changer. It’s basically a technique to get you moving, whether that is physically moving or changing your thought spiral. So, before your brain gives you a reason not to do something, you count backwards from 5 and then stop the thoughts or do the thing on 1.
I know I feel better when I get up and do the thing I’ve been meaning to, so I think I’l feel better every time I use the 5-second rule. I’m also reading Rising Strong by Brene Brown. So far, it’s alright, but I’m hoping I’ll get more out of it than I have so far. And yes, I’m still doing morning pages from The Artist’s Way, and it’s still going well.
With all that stuff, I’m still plowing through all my projects and finding time to do all the other stuff, like celebrate my 13th wedding anniversary, play some games, read amazing fiction, and do some promos.
I feel good about my busy days, because it’s all stuff I want to do. I’ve also learned it’s one of my strengths and not having something to do is not fun for me, so in a way, I’m leaning into who I am. Or figuring it out after half a century.
But first I have to find the OG me and let her out to play.