March 15, 2023
Emotional State: Strangely Calm
Writing
The second book in my urban fantasy series publishes today. The book I spent months reworking, rewriting, chewing over, and stressing about. You’d think I’d be a wreck right now, but nope.
I found myself approaching today oddly calm. Most of the work has been done, since I set it up for preorder, and I’d preset my ads and other social media posts earlier as well. So, there isn’t much to do, except launch the paperback on Amazon, which has a glitch.
Am I stressing about it? No. I’ve talked to support and fixed the issue. Now, I’m waiting for the book preview to show up. Six months ago, this would’ve been a catastrophe, or at the very least, a day filled with angst and stress. But now, it seems I’m old hat at this whole publishing thing.
I’m not. I’m just not one today, or at least for this book.
My imposter syndrome and writing fears are focused on other matters. Larger matters. Or earlier matters. I can’t decide what is filling me with dread, so let’s just throw it all in there. What series to focus on next? What writing to do? Will all the people getting my free copy of Book 1 like it or trash it?
You know, the usual muddle.
But I like this detached feeling of just getting on with it and not stressing. I like reaching this momentous day – publishing the second book in my series, which could make or break it – in a steady state.
Even if I know it’s a facade as the worms of doubt squirm around in my belly.