October 19, 2022
Week 106
Emotional State: Everything All At Once
Life Is A-knockin’
It’s a refrain you’ve read before if you follow my posts. I’m not really writing right now. In fact, I’m not even editing my own stuff. I’ve taken a complete step back on all things books (including author fight club) to focus on renewal, chaos, and moving.
That’s right. As of yesterday, we were given the greenlight to go ahead and schedule our move. In 12 days. Without anything set up to make it happen. No movers. No place to move into, etc., etc.
So now it’s go go gadget time. And I am not prepared. But that’s alright because practical me is rising up to take over. I have lists, checklists, spreadsheets and notes to myself everywhere. Don’t forget to return the grill gas canister. Remember a bin for your bedding. Have we cleaned out the garage yet?
All these little thoughts wake me up at night and keep me up. My brain is in hyper-flight mode and I’m barely hanging on with my fingertips.
Which is why I’ve not written or edited. I don’t think I have the brain capacity to focus on something creative. There’s no room, especially if I’ve got to sell some of the furniture just to fit into whatever place we rent next.
I’ve spent the last four days arguing, laughing, eating, and drinking with my sister and brother-in-law. It was hilarious, loud, and chaotic, but in a good way. It gave me time to recharge (except for that whole not sleeping due to hangover thing), rebalance, and reset. And we moved some furniture around, because… why not?
Reality, however, has sunk in. I’ve only got two weeks left in this house and 12 days before NanoWrimo starts. I have a plan for every day, including what I’m doing in November. Once I sort out the Wifi, electric, insurance, and other things I’ve completely spaced at the moment. And the plot – can’t write without that if it’s a mystery.
For once, I’m not feeling the pressure of writing 50k words in a month, because if I can survive the next 14 days, I can survive anything.
Unless I forget that thing I’ve already forgotten, of course.