August 31, 2022
Week 99
Emotional State: Pushing for Joy
Books, Books, and More Books
What is the right way to do things? Do you follow what other people have done or do you go your own way? When you’re doing something for the first time, how do you know the best way to approach it?
I’ve read a lot about self-publishing, watched a lot of videos, listened to other authors tell me the right way to do things, but here’s the kicker – there is no right way to do things. What worked for Bob won’t work for Jane and may work for me. Or not. You don’t know until you try.
I spend a lot of my time second-guessing myself, wondering if I’m doing it right or if I wrote the kind of books that people like but will never actively look for. Wondering if it makes sense to go all in on Amazon or stay wide. The data suggests Amazon is the way forward for me, at least right now. So why not throw all in there?
Stubbornness. Trying to stem the tide that is becoming the Taco Bell from Demolition Man – the only place to shop, buy food, get internet, and whatever else Amazon has bought recently. Why am I fighting it? If you’re supposed to go where the ducks are, then the ducks are definitely on Amazon. Like 99% of them.
And then there’s the decision to publish the novella before Book 2. I’m still waiting on the cover for the novella. It’s taken them a week to move down one line of text. It’s summer and they’re probably on vacation, so I get it, but I can’t launch without a cover.
Tomorrow was supposed to be launch day. I don’t think it’s going to happen.
And then that has me questioning when to publish Book 2. My plan was to launch it in October, but there’s stuff happening outside of the book world that makes me wonder if that’s still a solid plan. And then I remember it’s been a year since I released a book (my novella is good, but it’s short), so is that setting me up for even more obscurity than I already have?
Add to that I’m not really set up to launch this book. I could do a soft launch and sneak it in here or there. I’ve put together some initial graphics, but without a cover, I can’t finish them. I have a few ideas of fun things to do but not the energy to do them.
In short, I’m tired.
Tired by the slog, tired by the grind, tired of pretending to be excited about my book when it appears no one else is.
Tired of faking it and pushing through.
Tired of thinking and worrying and wondering.
Tired of second-guessing myself, my writing, my ideas, my audience.
When I decided not to use The Tidal Space Between as a reader magnet and instead publish it, it felt like the right decision. It wasn’t hard; it wasn’t painful. I just went with the flow. It still feels like the right decision. Launching by tomorrow, however, does not. And so I won’t. When it’s ready, I’ll publish it. The same thing goes for Book 2, which has some work to be done on it.
It’s time I remember my own words.
There’s a reader for every book, even if that book is an idea in the brain of someone too tired to put it down on paper.
There is no rush to publish.
There is no rush to write.
There is only time.
And right now, I don’t have enough of it to go around.
I think it’s time I take a step back and remember the joy:
Of writing.
Of finding the right words and the right analogy.
Of coming up with fun twists.
Of holding my debut book in my hands.
Instead of pushing for sales, I’m going to push for joy. Because isn’t that why I started this journey in the first place?