April 6, 2022
Week 78
Emotional State: Onward to Greatness… I hope
Books & Writing
Book Two appears to have turned a corner. Or I have. I’m not sure if it matters which one it is, since the end result is the same. I feel better about it. I’ve been editing the back half of the book, where all the themes come together and it’s finally feeling like a solid character arc for both Seraphina and Angwyndith.
I think.
The plan is to finish this round of edits by 4/15, wrap the book up, and ship it off to an editor and beta readers to tell me how where I went tragically wrong. I don’t feel it’s a total loss and I am not feeling bad about my writing or the book at all. I just have a high standard and I’m failing that or falling short of that.
It’s funny. While I’m stressing over whether Book Two is as good or better than Book One, I no longer seem to have impostor syndrome. If people don’t like my book, that’s okay. If they find the magic system too complicated, that’s okay too – I can fix that in how I write about it. I no longer feel like I can’t write or I’m not a good writer.
I know I am and I’m alright with admitting that (even if there’s a part of me that squirms uncomfortably at the statement and another part waiting for the big fall to come when someone says just the right thing to set off the itty bitty shitty committee in my head).
But I need each book to be better. I need not to get lazy on my writing, my storylines and how I get from point A to point B. I’ve read a few books lately that could’ve been amazing if they didn’t do that one thing that made me want to pitch the book at the wall. Reading is subjective, I get that. And many readers won’t see what I see or won’t care if they do.
I’m not writing for them. I’m writing for me, not just me as the human who has a story she wants to share and hopes it resonates. No, I’m writing for me – the reader and editor. That picky person who can look past small grammar errors, telling/not showing, and a few weak spots in the plot, but can’t get past the big things: structural flaws, no character growth, stupid (what I see as stupid anyway) character arcs, weak emotional connection, and confusing plots.
If those things are wrong, I failed, or at least feel like I failed. It’s my second book, so it’s not going to be perfect, and I don’t expect it to be. But if I don’t have a standard to hit, a goal to achieve, I’ll never get better because I’ll never stretch myself.
Of course, after this book, I may just lose my mind, so there is that. Except Book three is sooo good. Delicious even.
Right. Book Two must be amazing so that you all can read Book Three and love it as much as me. There’s just no other path forward than that.
Now where did I put those bootstraps?
Psst. It’s my birthday month, so check out a few fun fabulous things I’m giving away to celebrate.
