January 6, 2021
Day 93, Week 13
- Words: 46,545
- Chapters: 24
- Point in Book (Save the Cat!): Bad Guys Closing In
- Ego Size: Chickpea
- Emotional State:
MehInspired*
Today I’m not feeling particularly inspired. I’m not feeling excited by the progress or downhearted by the progress. Today the book is a slog. It happens. I even wrote a post about it, about writing through the crud, although I don’t think that was what that post meant, really. I’m not feeling like my writing is bad, but I’m also not feeling like it’s great either. So Meh. That’s me right now.
My ego size is in proportion to my giving a crap about my book, so a chickpea. Because it’s still large enough to crush, but small enough that if my editor told me my book sucked and would never be as good as I want it to be or could get it to be, I’d be okay with that. It would slide off like eggs on my new non-stick pan (Tramontina, got 3 for $25 at Costco and they are amazing! – so not meh about everything, but most things.)
This is day 93 on my journey to be a novelist. I’m 46,545 words in and I’m just tired. Not tired of the book, but tired of juggling work, my relationship, house chores, my hobbies, my insecurities, bills, working out every day to get back in shape….it’s a lot and today I’m feeling as cooked as that egg I mentioned. Tomorrow is another day and I’ll feel better tomorrow.
I just finished the major midpoint chapters for both of my protagonists. I like the one for my boogey(wo)man, my Bodach, the Judge. It suits what she would do and there’s a bit of a twist, a little one, but it can’t always be easy for her. She has a growth arc too. But then I wonder if it’s in the right place, if that should be the All is Lost spot. And if I do that, then what would be her midpoint? An acceptance? A truce? Would that be enough?
And then I go down the rabbit hole of what happens in Act 3, because my current plan has Act 3 not being what you’d expect it to be. It may be boring. I don’t think it will be, but well, it might be. I’ve gone back and forth about Act 3, about when to face the Big Bad (currently not in Act 3). But if I move the midpoint chapter for Angwyndith (my boogey(wo)man) then I have to figure out what the All is Lost trigger is for my other main character, my human female, Seraphina.
Because what could it be? Her midpoint chapter is glorious. She gets everything she ever wanted or thought she wanted for happiness. She doesn’t get her need, obviously, and she’s focusing on the wrong things (work, bills, life…there is a parallel here that even the least savvy among us can see = meh), but she does get her want. She does get a job, some money, a way forward, validation she is/was loved. And if I need to change it, if I need to add a twist, then it will have to be big. And it will have to be devastating to be the gamechanger of All is Lost. And maybe…
I have an idea. It would mean adding in quite a few different hints in the earlier part of the book, but I already have to do that in revisions, so whatever. Do I want to go down that track? Do I want this first book to be all dark, sadness and slogging through the crap of life? I didn’t think so. I wanted it to be funny and entertaining and heartwarming. But looking at my past writing on this blog, maybe I’m not a lighthearted funny writer. Maybe I’m dark, gloomy, digging through the slog of life with glimpses of lightness and joy.
The rollercoaster is coming back around. If I do this, if I completely throw out some/most of the last half of the outline of my book, it’ll mean being a panster, not a plantser. It’ll mean replotting the first half. It’ll mean taking a darker turn than I planned. And a lot more rewriting. But maybe, just maybe…it’ll be really good.
Gotta go. *I seriously and genuinely wrote this post as I was feeling it and now have a new plan for my book that I have to plot and discuss with my editor and…crap, that’s a lot of work. I need to go work on my book.
*I changed my mood as I was writing this.