My husband once said that I wasn’t a writer, even though I’ve always wanted to be one. My response to him was, “You don’t get to decide that. I do.” But his statement was accurate. For someone who claimed that their dream was to be writer, I sure didn’t write a lot (at least then). In fact, I barely wrote at all. So why was that?
If we enjoy writing on our book so much, why don’t we do it more?
There are a lot of answers out there on the web, some based on psychology, some based on creative blocks, some saying we lack willpower. The answers that resonated the most with me, however, and that are the truest for me, are the following:
1. Things that are good for us require short term sacrifices for long term gain. And who wants to give up a nice relaxed Netflix marathon to do actual work that won’t pay off right now? We are so focused on short term gains that we forget how good it feels to finish a goal that took longer than a few hours. And it does feel good to finish a larger project. Think back to something you finished that took time to do and revel in the feeling of completing it all over again. THAT’S what it will feel like when you finish your book.
2. Confusing Shoulds with Wants. Shoulds are things we do because we think we have to; wants are things we do because we know we would enjoy doing them. Shoulds include guilt, stress, short-term satisfaction of what we think other people want us to do. Wants are solid and lasting, because they are focused on what WE feel best to do now. So when you’re on autopilot mode and are about to do something you should do, ask yourself, “Is this something I want or something I think I should do?” Does the answer you get back include a ‘supposed to’? Will someone die if you don’t do it right that second? If the answer is no, then do what you want to do. When you make the things you love doing a priority, then they get done.
3. Fear, anxiety, and imposter syndrome. This is a big one and a tough nut to crack. And it all revolves around failure and what other people think. You think George RR Martin or Malcolm Gladwell sat down to write and it just flowed out of them like water from a well? No, they had to dig deep and then re-dig a different hole to find that well. And then they had to refine the process and refine it some more. And I can guarantee they had doubts about their ability to deliver a book on a topic that people would read. But here’s the thing, if you don’t try it, you’ll never know if you can succeed. And honestly, you can write a book that is credible, interesting, educational, and amazing.
Circling back to the theme of living a full life, I’m just going to share one of my all time favorite quotes from the movie Strictly Ballroom: A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.
And who wants to live half a life?
Not this girl, which is why I’m embarking on a journey to write a novel. And get it edited professionally. And published. It’s terrifying, but exhilarating at the same time. And you know what? I’m writing more every week, doing research, arguing with my husband on how magic works, struggling with dialogue – and loving every minute of it!